Johnny Cash’s 2002 hit ‘Hurt’ is an emotional classic that
cuts deep; a beautiful parting gift from a dying genius. Sadly, some choose not
to respect the dead, and in 1995 Nine Inch Nails delivered a terrible cover of
the song, which drags on for 6 breathy minutes over what sounds like a B-Side instrumental
from a D-Grade Cure album.
2)
THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD
Nirvana debuted their 1993 track as part of their ‘MTV
Unplugged’ set. Unfortunately, our memories of this legendary event were soon tainted
when David Bowie covered the song in 1970, missing the point of it entirely by
playing and singing real notes and words. Bowie would later plagiarise
Kurt Cobain again in early 2016 by dying tragically.
3)
VALERIE
Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse (alive at the time) recorded this
astounding Top 20 Hit in 2007, which many of us have yet to get sick of even
though we definitely should be. Not content with this, however, The Zutons
decided in 2006 release their own inferior version (minus the trumpets and thus any chance of it being good). On top of that, the band managed to change this brilliant song about a love between two women into yet another dull, hetero-normative
pop song. Great work, guys, we’ll add it to the skip-full of those that came in last week. ‘Who Killed….. The Zutons?’ You have to wonder, listening
to this dreadful cover, if The Zutons were ever really alive in the first
place…
4)
HALLELUJAH
Christ, where to start with this one? Alexandra Burke gave
us an early Christmas present in 2008 with her depressing (but in a nice way really)
‘Hallelujah’. Viewers watched in delight as the X Factor star gave a touching
and innovative performance in which she cried half the song inside a storm of
confetti reminiscent of the Crystal Dome. Everyone from Jeff Buckley and Leonard
Cohen to the only marginally better Shrek (who probably isn’t even really singing
in the film), has had a go at this one, but no one will match Burke’s wonderful
original.
5)
BLINDED BY THE LIGHT
The 1976 hit from Mannfred Mann’s Earth Band was an
astonishing piece of avant-garde rock, with abstract and poetical lyrics about
‘wrapped-up douches’ and ‘little early birdies giving anuses Curly Wurlys’.
Bruce Springsteen (‘The Boss’, or so he says) had to come along in 1973 and
ruin it by turning it into a bland slice of Americana pie. ‘I’m On Fire’. Good.
